i managed to get out of the house for an hour or two today, for a drive around town and a trip to the umbrella factory, where i fed some honking geese while the emus kept to themselves in the far sunny corner of their yard. the geese honked at me, and in my best penguin/dick cheney imitation i honked back, and we went back and forth several times. bought a huge scarf i'm going to turn into a skirt and a smaller scarf as well, at small axe. love that place.
my aunt has been taken to the hospital on the advice of the visiting nurse, who when she came here would not admit my aunt to their service. both my mother and i could barely move her, i don't know what my mother was thinking. of course while the nurse and i are trying to convince my mother of the fact that there is too much care needed to have her here, well, things didn't go so well. twice this weekend it has been remarked to me that my mother "is a saint", and all i can think is, she shows you what she wants you to see.
you can be fooled, i think, by someone being frail and fragile like my aunt is now, but she is the same mean-spirited bully she's always been. and that is why she wants to stay with my mother, so she can bully her into letting her do whatever, and who cares about what it means for anyone else. it's the same meanstreak my mother has. i picked it up and have spent my life getting rid of it, and it's utter poison to be around.
i cannot wait to get the hell out of here tomorrow. i should never have come.
at some point today while the shit was hitting the fan here i suddenly became obsessed with new pretty girly icons and uploaded like 30 of them. they are pretty & soothing to look at.
losing my mind. a little at a time.
i seriously don't know how i grew up in this house and am as well adjusted as i am. i have about a 24 hour window before i really start to get annoyed/pissed off/want to scream.
it's not just the random moaning, sighing, talking to herself, talking to the tv constantly, talking to herself *in response to what you just said in the other room*, and the continual narrative about what she just did and is now about to do.
it's more like this kinda thing: you come up early in the weekend to help and you take apart a bunch of furniture and move it down into the cellar and it's not like you want a pat on the head but it would be nice, just kinda the decent thing to do, to not, say, turn the heat down at 3am when it's pretty cold and *i ask you not to because i am cold*.
her, looking at the thermostat, set to 63 "did you turn the heat down [to 60 when i went to bed]?"
me: "no, i'm cold"
her: pushing buttons
me: "don't turn it down, i'm cold"
and she goes to bed.
and when i wake up i see the heat is down. now, i tried not to say anything, i'm *trying* to get out of here without a fight. but at some point i say "i wish you hadn't turned the heat down last night" and she first tries to pretend she doesn't remember i asked her not to and that it was because i was cold, then she says "oh i didn't realize i had turned it down." christ on a crutch. anyone who didn't know her would probably think she was serious, but you know how, when you've known someone for *so long* you can hear just the slightest inflection that lets you know they're COMPLETELY FULL OF SHIT? yeah, it's like that.
Happily the stomach bug disappeared early in the day yesterday, and I toughed it out and kept my hair appointment. School isn't opening till 12 today, hurrah, so I get the whole morning to read or study or whatever. I am *so* hardwired to be a morning person. I didn't even go back to bed once I found out school was delayed.
So, when we decided to quit the gym we spent a few bucks on a jump rope, a balance ball, and a round 5lb. weight that has a circular handle, so we could do stuff at home to stay active (especially during the winter, as I am now willing to admit I am nearly a winter shut-in more interested in curling up on the couch with something warm to drink under a blanket than I am in anything involving movement.) I am still re-learning how to jump rope (I can do it twice without getting tripped up - yes, 8 year olds are more agile than me.) But the balance ball and weight have been a godsend - I am really able to stretch my ridiculously tight shoulders and upper back lolling around on that thing with the weight in one or both hands. Now if only I could motivate myself to do that preventatively I might really get somewhere.
I was so thrilled about the crunch sticky snow yesterday. I am decidedly less thrilled about the glassy frozen roads today. I don't know what the temperature is out there but it's clearly going to be a zero-sun day, I hope stuff melts enough that I can get to school without having to ice skate there.
Dear Food Poisoning,
Why now? I haven't had a visit from you in years, so why today? I was really looking forward to getting my hair cut, and now it seems I cannot make it to even get dressed, never mind leave the house. Damn you.
walked all over hellnback today. all in all very good - drove about half the way to the capitol from our place, parked, walked, walked some more. eventually we found a space kinda on the mall and could hear but not see. the vibe was great - it was very much me & 1 million+ of my friends all hanging out.
got to sing the "nananana goodbyeeeee" about 5 times when they announced dubya, that was exceedingly satisfying.
hopefully i will have energy later in the week to write more, but i am hell ass tired. omgsotired.
ps. crowd control was a joke. imagine 4 cops trying to keep 20,000 people on a 4' wide sidewalk instead of the roadway closed to cars and you'll have an idea of it...
Man, what a sight. 89-year-old Pete Seeger, and Bruce Springsteen, standing on a stage I built, at the Lincoln Memorial, singing the first song I ever learned (when I was about 4 or 5), Woody Guthrie's "This Land Is Your Land". I hear HBO is going around YouTube scrubbing all clips of the show because they have exclusive rights to it for 6 months or something, screw them.
And the lyrics in case anyone would like to see them. They even sang the "controversial" verse about the welfare lines...
As I went walking that ribbon of highway
I saw above me that endless skyway
I saw below me that golden valley
This land was made for you and me.
I roamed and I rambled and I followed my footsteps
To the sparkling sands of her diamond deserts
While all around me a voice was sounding
Saying this land was made for you and me.
In the squares of the city, In the shadow of a steeple;
By the relief office, I'd seen my people.
As they stood there hungry, I stood there asking,
Is this land made for you and me?
(except they sang "I stood there whistling!/This land is made for you and me!")
There was a big high wall there that tried to stop me;
Sign was painted, it said private property;
But on the other side it didn't say nothing,
That side was made for you and me.
Nobody living can ever stop me,
As I go walking that freedom highway;
Nobody living can ever make me turn back
This land was made for you and me.
I seriously feel like it's Christmas eve. Like I know tomorrow I'm winning a billion-dollar lottery. Maybe this is what it feels like the night before you get released from jail on an 8-year sentence for a crime you didn't commit? Oh I know - I felt like this when one of my ridiculously incompetent bosses got fired!
A while back, in the fall before the election, I jokingly told my friends that after Obama got elected there would be a parade of cartoon birds and butterflies and rainbows and kittens and puppies and the little cartoon birds would festoon (festoon!) all the trees with cartoon swags of ribbon! I cannot!wait!for!tomorrow! We've waited too long already.
Happy Martin Luther King Day everyone!
26 hours, 53 minutes.
I can't believe we're into the last 48 hours of Bush's tenure. For such a long time it seemed so.far.away. And now here it is!
I'm trying to solve storage and organization problems in this closet-less house. It is making me a bit crazy. I want to be able to be set up to sew in the dining room (which we never use). I also want to get rid of all the F-ing clutter for once and for all. Progress is slow. And annoying. The champagne we popped to toast the end of the Bush era is helping. But not quite enough.
In other news, Lena is the cutest kitten ever.
Every time I read about this amazing pilot who ditched his plane in the Hudson yesterday, my eyes start to tear in awe.
And, the sun has now set on the final workday of the Bush administration. We are at less than 100 hours now and counting, and while it's all open time to continue the shafting of America right down to the wire, we're all with the weekend and federal holidays now. Another regular-time day for W to wreak his special brand of havoc from the oval office will never come. We're toasting to that in our house tonight, and I'm going to celebrate every last *last* that happens between now and Obama's first second on Tuesday.